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A House and Life Unwritten

a home design and lifestyle blog

Month

August 2016

Setbacks and Epiphanies

OK let me wallow for a few minutes here. I work in a commission only job. Read: super stressful and volatile. I’ve been in my field for a almost six years. I’m accustomed to the highs and lows and have been pretty much resigned to the financial roller coaster of life I have chosen. But there has been a missing piece since we decided to move cross country. The market here, is not anything like the market back home. The culture is different. The pricing is different. Maybe I’m different. (the common denominator in my year of career setbacks is me, so clearly there is some math to examine…)

This has clearly caused some financial stress for my family. It has sort of altered in very drastic ways the financial path we are finding ourselves on. It has even threatened to topple our let’s-move-cross-country adventure and send us scurrying away from the palm tree breezes back into the clutches of ice filled winters. Anxiety, stress and depression, what a fun combo.

BUT! Oh migosh there is a HUGE “BUT”!

It hit me last night as I was half-heartedly thumbing through some paperwork before leaving and locking up after 10 pm. I would not have discovered blogging or the blogging community in the way that I have this past year if I had not had such catastrophic failures at work. I’ve always wanted to blog. I’ve always wanted to READ blogs (sounds so cool and cultured). But as a busy working mama, these remained intentions like so, so many things.

I have stumbled into this community by accident while browsing Pinterest in my massive amounts of downtime at work (straight commission! it’s all good!). I have been able to delve and dive deep into so many beautiful worlds and homes of bloggers I have fallen in love with. Sometimes, for hours at a time. If this exploration and discovery had been chanced to my “free time” I still would not have heard of any of these blogs I follow so enthusiastically and I would not have started mine.

I have big dreams. Big dreams for the future of my home. Big dreams for the future of my family. Big dreams for the future of my girls. A lot of these dreams have been breathed into life these last few months as I have spent quality time with some of my favorite blogs. So maybe this year of career failures is not wasted. Maybe, this has been a year of growth and catalysts in ways I couldn’t see as I sulked in the dust of downfalls.

Maybe, this is an important part of my story.

And I am SO excited about it.

 

 

 

Reunited and it feels so good

It’s been a long time since my last post. I’m so sad to admit that the whirlwind of life swept me up in it’s torrential winds and spun me for a while. I couldn’t see up. I couldn’t see down, or sideways. But I could see my husband. And my girls. And really what else matters? I’m happy to report that we did indeed end up closing on the dream house. We love it. I have such big dreams for this house. Dreams for my family. Dreams for all the designs tumbling in my head. Dreams for our intertwined future, us and this place. These past few months have been all-consuming in their stress and pressures. Financial duress and job failures are evil twins, intertwined and inseparable , throwing a cruel double punch. They create tunnels. I hate these tunnels. Tunnels of time, tunnels that steal your focus and jumble your heart and distort your vision. These tunnels make you forget, they blur the visions of your heart and they drown the beautiful noise of life. It’s not all tunnel vision, but sometimes it’s hard to see around the tunnel when you are in the tunnel. We still have had joy. We still have had precious memories with our girls. We still have had adventures. We have also had a lot weighing on our hearts. And we’ve lost a little bit of time, stolen by stress. So we are climbing out of the tunnel. Some of the stressors have eased and our focus and passions has been reignited. We are joining the world again. We are so happy to be back.

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